One Good Prank Deserves Another
by kaito9049
Summary: Yeah...I am not good at titles...or fanfics for that matter. This is my first fanfic, and boy...feel free to rip into this one. Really. I won't be offended. I mostly just wanted to see this website's format. - Aversa has been troubled recently by a series of pranks. According to Robin (M), the most likely culprit is Lissa. (One-Shot)


Aversa was _ticked_. First off, someone had scattered some itching substance into her clothes while she was swimming, and then she had found out that her warm chicken stew had been switched with a stale veal soup (made by Sully, no less). She rarely ventured into the camp, in fear that one of the Shepherds would try to take revenge on her for…anything, really. But this time was an exception. If a tent flap could be slammed, then Robin's tent would have resonated with the sound of a BANG.

"Bwig Bwothu, can wu hewep me?" Aversa asked. She knew that the little sister act annoyed him beyond words, and she loved it.

Robin groaned. "Can this wait?" he begged. He had been thinking about the choice he would have to make soon. Grima had to be stopped, but unless he sacrificed his own life, the dragon's demise would only be temporary.

Aversa shook her head. "No! This is really getting annoying," she replied angrily, quickly dropping the little sister attitude.

Robin raised an eyebrow. "What's going on with you?" he asked. Aversa had distracted him from his dilemma, at least for now.

"For the past three days, I've been constantly harassed by someone! Just yesterday a bucket of frogs was dumped on my head! When I find out who did it I'm going to skin him alive, dip him in molten magma, and—"

"It's Lissa," Robin said dryly.

Aversa blinked. "The prissy umbrella girl?"

"No, that's Maribelle. Lissa is Chrom's sister. She's the only one who'd do something like this while a huge dragon threatens to bring the apocalypse upon the world."

"Oh…I can't really punish her, can I? And I had the perfect plan…"

Robin smirked. "I'm surprised she pranked you at all. The first week you were here, she was terrified of you. She had nightmares about you feeding her to Yarne."

Aversa paused. "Not a bad idea, actually…"

Robin shook his head and laughed. "No, the best thing to do is simply walk up to her and firmly tells her to stop with the pranks. It worked for me, at least. Well, except she filled my tent with Pegasus droppings."

Aversa giggled. "Oh, that was me. Sowee bwig bwothu. It won't happen again."

Robin groaned. "One Lissa is enough," he mumbled.

Aversa started to leave. "Don't let anyone else see you," Robin advised. "They might think that you're trying to—"

"Slit her throat?"

"…something like that."

Aversa exited the tent. Staying as close to the outside of the camp as possible, she worked her way to Lissa's tent. Quickly peeking inside, she saw various clothes, flowers, and candy scattered around the room, as well as a bucket of frogs and a vial of what was no doubt itching powder. The only thing that seemed to be missing from Lissa's tent was Lissa herself.

"Stalking someone?"

Aversa jumped and turned around, where Tharja stood, a tiny grin on her face. "Tharja!" Aversa exclaimed, half-annoyed, half-relieved.

"Hello, Aversa," the dark mage replied.

The two women chatted about various things, like Robin, hexes, and even Kjelle, whom they both loved to tease due to her lack of concern of beauty. Eventually, Tharja remembered where they were.

"So," she asked. "What are you doing here? Were you trying to turn Lissa into a green bean? It would be an upgrade for her."

Aversa sighed. "No, she's been pranking me recently and I wanted to talk to her."

"Just talk?"

"…yes?"

"Anyway, you won't find her here. She went into the market with Frederick. Something about an alternative to bear meat."

Aversa thanked Tharja and quickly called her Pegasus. While she was flying to the market, she considered her choices. She could shake Lissa up a bit, if she could get her away from Frederick, though that was unlikely. She would be lucky if Frederick would even let her near Lissa. Maybe she should cast a temporary curse on him…

Oop, there she was. Lissa was running through the streets, while a panicked Frederick chased after her, running into several people, as one as one cabbage wagon, much to the merchant's dismay. _This is going to be good_, Aversa said, forgetting all about...not being scary. She swooped down and grabbed Lissa by her collar. The blonde-haired girl screamed as she soared above the heads of the townspeople. Fredrick looked up and yelled something intelligible at Aversa. "We'll be at the camp!" she yelled back.

Lissa desperately squeezed the hairs of the Pegasus, unable to form words. "I bet you're wondering why I called you here today, eh squirt?" Aversa called. "Hold on." She urged the Pegasus to go faster, and they zipped past the road until the camp was in view. Aversa then brought the Pegasus to the forest floor, about a half a mile away from the campground, only slightly further from Aversa's tent.

Lissa quickly jumped down from the Pegasus and promptly threw up. Aversa rolled her eyes. "Oh, we weren't going that fast," she protested.

Lissa looked up. Her face was pale, and her breath shaky. "Y-you could have k-killed me!" she stammered.

"Oh, but I didn't," Aversa pointed out happily. Lissa groaned and puked again. "I suppose you should watch who you prank, hm, Lissa?"

Lissa looked up again, her eyes wide. "I didn't prank you!" She exclaimed.

"Robin told me everything, little girl, you don't have to hide it."

"I'm serious! Why would I prank you?!" Lissa yelled. "You're icky and scary!" Aversa gave Lissa a glaring look. Lissa jumped back. "Um, maybe just scary?"

Aversa decided to ignore her previous comment. "So the bucket of frogs—"

"Please. The frog thing is old."

"Switching my food with Sully's cooking—"

"I'm not _that _cruel!"

"And the itching powder—"

"Well, no, that was totally me. And it was hilarious!" Lissa burst into laughed, but Aversa's silent glare silenced her again.

"So…who was the one pulling those pranks?" Aversa wondered aloud. Even as the words left her mouth, her mind began to put the pieces together to identify the most likely suspect.

Robin grinned to himself as he stretched. He had decided that worrying about what to do with Grima wouldn't help the matter, and he had just finished writing down several battle maneuvers, and was ready for a break. Besides, by now, Aversa had already figured out his ploy. He took out a cut lemon out of his pocket and walked into the makeshift kitchen.

"Hey, Lon'Qu!" he called. The swordsman grunted in reply. Robin looked over the dish that Lon'Qu was preparing. "I have to say, Lon'Qu, you have to be the best potato peeler I have ever seen."

"Thank you," Lon'Qu replied pridefully. In Lon'Qu's family, a man's dignity was represented by how quickly he could slice a vegetable.

"Which one of these is Aversa's?" Robin asked, nodding to several dishes.

"Doesn't matter. They're all prepared the same."

Robin nodded. "She told me that she'd like to eat at her own camp again. I'll take the dish to her."

Lon'Qu looked up. "Dinner isn't supposed to be announced for another half hour. I still have to make the potato cake—"

"Do you really want to argue with _Aversa_?"

Lon'Qu thought about it. He shook his head. "If that's what she wants," he mumbled.

Robin smiled and took one of the bowls. Once he was out of the kitchen, he squeezed the lemon, causing the juice to fall into the dish. The last time Aversa ate a sour food, it was Viron's turn to cook. She had accused him of poisoning her, and he had simply replied "Ah, but you have poisoned me as well…with your beauty."

Unfortunately, healing magic can't grow hair back.

As Robin walked to Avera's campsite, he knew that Aversa was probably on her way to execute horrible revenge upon him. The things that she might do to him made him shudder. And yet, he had no regrets. Yet.


End file.
